Soul Searching

I had a real thought provoking conversation the other day with one of my friends. We were talking about our lives and he (no names, to protect the innocent) was able to simply pinpoint the happiest time of his life. Now i have been giving this topic a lot of thought lately and i still haven't been able to come up with a period in my life where everything just clicked. Now if the subject was the worst period of my life- a few days come to mind, days which i'd rather forget...but thats a tale for another time....High school was pretty good to me, but then again i refuse to believe that the best days of my life were spent anywhere near such infamous names as Brent, Henry, Nasjuha, and Bonnie Lindenmyer. Plus i feel like i have evolved tremendously since then and i try and distance myself from Mac related things. I certainly dont see how my current college/Saf-T-Swim status would be labeled "great" considering how i want to swallow a bullet more than half the time...so i sit hear scratching my head wondering if the glory days will ever come...sure, I could think of a few good days scattered through the yrs but thier hasn't been a group of days..i havent had that life altering epiphany yet where everything gels and my life runs like a well oiled machine. I'm not asking for a happily ever after deal- just a good stretch where my heads in the clouds for a bit...i think i deserve it or rather i need it. Hopefully my best days are yet to come and if/when they do arrive i will be waiting.

In another analysis of myself i see that i am astonishingly anti-social ...those of you that know me are already more than aware of the fact that i never answer/return phone calls. Well it gets deeper. I'm always online but unless im in a fantastic mood ill never IM you. For the most part I always wait to be IM'd even if i have something important to say. (thier are a few people i do Im every now and then but i assure u, u are the minority). This is coupled with the fact that only a few people can even see if im online or not. I know i have written about this b4 but its an aspect of my personality that i dont like and am trying to change..kind of...(warning bathroom story coming up)Another interesting tidbit is that i almost never go to the bathroom anywhere but my house...i dunno why but i only get the urge to do my damn thing at home..i could be out for hours but once i walk through my front door- i get the urge to do some target practice or drop a bomb. Anyway I had to do my business at school today- a first for me. I tried to hold it in but i couldnt, so in between classes i went into the busy bathroom and walked into a stall- put paper down on the seat (like a homo) and did my business, all of a sudden the toilet flushes- I had no idea that it flushes automatically- cool right? i thought so. then as i put more paper in- it flushed again. and this cycle continued for 2 more flushes. I didnt wanna leave the stall cuz 4 flushes is just too embarassing- i felt like people were waiting for me outside either gonna staire me down or give me a round of applause. i actually waited it out till it quieted down and then i washed my hands and left- but thats wierd too cuz then it looks like i just left w/o flushing. i dunno- thats why i i try not to go to the bathroom anywhere but my house, its less nerve racking that way. (i didnt mean to bring up that story but somehow we just got there)

My moms family is fighting again- they do it from time to time. its sort of comical to me b/c it used to happen just on holidays but now its becoming more frequent. My granparants are mad at my cousins which resulted in my aunt siding with her daughters and now they are trying to get the whole family involved. My cousin is getting married this summer and my grandparents allegidly said they'd pay for the shower but now they're saying they never said that. But the catch is that they did pay for my other cuz's shower so its like how cna u pay for 1 and not the other? im sure this will end in a very loud but entertaining easter.

I hate the snow..i hate everything about it. Snow may look white and beautiful to some but to me its cancer of the sky. i was dreading the drive home cuz my car is a deathbox in snowy weather.. what the hell is a deathbox? anyway, the ride home really wasnt that bad except for once where i hit the brake and skidded for about a half of a mile.. as long as im alive i dont care. Tommorow ill be shoveling 2 houses and then sippin some hot coccoa and chillaxin (lol) for the rest of the day.

time to catch some Z's

Sports Chat

It's me, it's me, it's the C-A-T, back with another entry in my male diary (known as a journal). Who puts the ill in skill? Oh it be me. lol. Sorry about that, i'm a little bored so i figured i'd drop a line on this bad boy. I dont have much to say so im just gonna keep typing and hope something genius pops into my head otherwise ur all screwed.

I got so much homework to do but im just too lazy to get started. its always a last minute thing with me to get the work done so im not even worried about it....I think i'm heading to B-mo's house tonite but im not really sure- things always change and im usually the last  one to be notified- i really dont care just as long as im notified. (Even if i did care i couldnt complain since my call back/ contact record isnt too impressive).

I just wish people would utilize the internet more often. u need to contact me? write me an email or IM me- im always around and the response rate is astoundingly  better. The 1 complaint/ thing i hate about aol is the goodbye. With some people it goes like this: Mr X: I gotta run, ill talk to u later. Me: Ok later, Mr X: Signs Off...with others it's.... Mr X: I gotta run, ill talk to u later. Me: Ok later, Mr X:  ok bye....and thats when things get a little haywire. do i say bye back or is it overkill? and then when they dont sign off after they say bye my mind starts to wonder. Are they waiting for my goodbye? should i say goodbye now? or have i waited too long so that if i said bye would it just be wierd now? i hope they dont think im being rude- im just confused. in real life if some1 said bye id say bye back but things are different on this side and its a whole new world. am i wrong or is this a common problem? i need to know!

The Slam Dunk contest is on tonite and i gotta tell u im not that excited. Without guys like Wilkens, Jordan, or Spud Webb it just doesnt have the same aura. Lebron James might have excited me a little bit but now that hes out- so am i. I am also a little insulted that none of the knicks were invited to partake in anything this weekend. Trevor Ariza can jam it home with the best of them and Sweetny should have made the NBA sophmore team..not to mention Stephon Marbury is an all star...whatever..i cant wait for baseball. Speaking of baseball the red sox have fired the first shot at the yankees but im not that pissed cuz  I kind of agree that Arod isn't a proven yankee yet. He hasn't done something that really stands out. Jeter, Posada, Bernie and rivera are the staples of this team, Sheffield carried the team on its back so i feel he's kind of earned his stripes. Tino also is a yankee but arod- not just yet.

Movie Picks: Wanna go see a movie? I recommend Hitch.. Sure it may look a little gay and Will Smith isn't as "fresh" as he used to be, but come on, give it a whirl. It's your best bet. Kevin James is still as funny and lovable as his character on the King of Queens and Eva Mendez is always worth the price of admission. The concept may seem a little on the stupid side but they manage to pull it off in a way that is entertaining. Other options? Constantie: I've seen Constantine- the one thing that is constant is its suckiness. I dunno what i was thinking even seeing it (oh yeah, it was free) Keanu Reaves is to acting what 50 Cent is to folk dancing.  The man only has one tone, no matter if hes dying or on top of the world he shows the same amount of emotion.  I'm sure i mentioned it previously but Million Dollar Baby was a favorite of mine if u havent seen that yet- get ur ass down to the movies and bootleg it! Sideways? It was ok- but i dunno what all the fuss is about. If ur obssesed with wine i'd go see it otherwise just stay home and drink wine.

My throat is starting to get sore again - NOT GOOD! My immune system used to be solid like a rock but its starting to wither away like an old man's twig and berries in a whirl pool.

I cant think of a title for this entry so im gonna just put a crappy 1 in and head out- Later Peeps!

Heart to heart

Well its Valentine's Day, and for all u lovers out there Happy V-day!!! But for me, this is the single most depressing day of the year. It's not b/c this used to be my anniversary with Jen, or b/c it brings back painful memmories of love lost but instead I have come to realize that i love cake and candy more than any girl i have ever met.. and thats sad. I wish they created heart candies for single people with inspirational messages such as "maybe next yr" or "kill yourself". It's just an idea. I know id pick up a bag. 

I had to go to a wake tonight, my uncle frankie passed away due to heart failure. i go outta respect but for no other reason- i dont like to see relatives that i never see and i hate being anywhere near death. So i did what i had to and sat in the back with a few other relatives and waited for the time to pass. When i go- i dont wanna wake, or a funeral- just throw me over board or something.

A few quick tidbits about the grammy awards: 1- Alicia Keys is an amazing talent and some1 deserving of an award.  She's also climbing my list of one of the hottest chicks in music. 2- Kanye West is severly over rated. I cant believe his religious performance didnt spark outrage. I think him getting an award is an outrage not to mention him putting wings on and pretending to be an angel. 3- J-lo and Marc Antony need to stay off camera. 4- Sheryl Crow looks great for her age 5- Melissa Ethrigde needed the big glasses and she would have looked just like the guy from the 6 flags commercials. i give her credit though for coming out and showing that she is healthy.

Speaking of healthy im back to feeling like a million bucks. It's such a pain in the ass when ur sick  so thats when u realize how many times u take ur health for granted. I'm trying to getinto a cardio work out to improve my ticker and at the same time shed some punds- We'll see what happens.

Aight peeps- time to call it a nite

Life Sickens Me

In November of 2003 i was sicker than i haver ever been, I had gotten a virus which turned into the flu and pink eye. it was straight up nasty and i hoped i never got it again but as luck would have it....

On weds of last week i was feeling sort of sluggish, nothing specificly wrong but I just felt out of sorts. On thursday i had developed that gewwy sick taste in my mouth... you know that dry, stail taste...the one where u lick ur lips and make that disgusted, squinty eyed face, and u cant wait to spit... if u dont know what im talking about i really have to question if u have ever been sick. Anyway, i also had what physicians may call a "minor sore throat", but looking back at it now..it was like the opening of the gates to hell...  On friday.."the most fun day of the week" i became inreasingly ill, with aches and pains that complimented a now throbbing sore throat and ear ache. Now that brings us to saturday. On Sat morning my head popped off the pillow when i heard meatloaf playing on my clock radio...from there i knew it was gonna be a bad day...my throat was feeling much better though..probably cuz i downed half a bottle of niquil cold and flu and had sucked on halls cough drops like a baby on a pasifier. So i got dressed, took some more cough drops and rushed to work. My normal sat coworker wasnt there so i knew id be the head nigga-in charge but thats not exactly a position im cofy/cozy with. Well whatever, the day was going.slow and as the day progressed i felt more ill. Finally its closing time- im almost ready to go...closed the register, bout to fix some loose ends b4 i bizounce when all of a sudden a woman comes in and is hell bent on signing up her kids for lessons. Ugghhhhh, ok we're closed but ill put it through, so after searching forever to meet her stringent requirements... i got her on her merry way. Just then i feel my eyes become watery..i realized i hadda go home...so in a rush i finish my lose ends...and head home. As soon as i get home i take a nap and wake up with pink-eye!!! it was hell. The worst part is the dr.s office was closed on sunday so i hada ruff it out till monday.... Fast foward to monday after my class...i drove to the drs office. a 5 oclock appointment turned into a 2 and a half hr wait. And i can go on a whole rant on how i hate the waiting room (b/c if ur not that sick b4 u see the dr by the time ur outta the waiting room u'll definately be sick). Dr Hertz (sweet irony) looked me over and prescibed me some meds and now here i am feeling significantly better. My voice still comes and goes and i have a cough that puts smokers to shame but im def.on the road to recovery.  Extra little tid bit- . Today i was sitting in class when i felt little drops down my nose, i wiped it and saw red. So i quickly jumped out of my chair and headed to the bathroom, by the time i got to the bathroom my nose was pouring out blood. It was like the red sea..i looked in the mirror and i looked like a sickly cocaine addict. The thing is, every time i get medicine from this doctor i get nose bleeds..he's three for three so far.I hope u enjoyed my sickening tale.

This morning Scotty "ALL IN" Nyer returned from his tournament slumber to destroy the competion and take 1st place in a world series of poker entry. He then let me watch as he mauled through 60 others and came up just short of getting a spot in the most saught after prize in poker. He's an up and comer folks..remember the name!...He nearly gave me a heart attack when he callled and asked me to play- i was touched but i didnt wanna do it though lol...too stressful.

I have a lot more sick stories of how people in school think im dying and stay away from me but i have written enough. Later peeps.

One for the G-ster

I wasnt going to write a journal but i received news that my viewer base has doubled (from 1 to 2) so i felt compelled to write a little something. So senorita Ginita this journeys for you!

School is in full swing and it's going well...i guess. My tues and thursdays are somewhat chaotic with school from  9:30- 3:45, work from 4-8,  and then work out from 8:30- 9:45. but other than that i really cant complain. I have pretty good teachers and some1 i know in almost every class. I wish i had some friends with me but atleast i know some people. Nothing new in reguards to my love life..lol as if one exists. But this week i was kinda c-blocked a little bit by another girl who sat in between us. I know i sound like a third grader when it comes to this issue but im kinda new to this game. For years i was holding on to something that i really had no business holding on to. So if nothing else atleast i'm making some progress in moving on...i know what ur thinking and no that doesnt count.lol.

I have been feeling pretty sick lately...head aches, stromach aches,a sore throat, the worx. I have been raiding my medicine cabinet like a drug addict, and taking shots of nyquil like Nick Nolte. I have even been making some cups of tea with honey. I really need to feel better cuz i got a busy weekend planned. Tommorow i got work then i plan on seeing the movie Sideways. Normally i dont go see gay movies but it was nominated for best picture and if its in the same league as million dollar baby its worth a shot. Sat i got work/work out and then hopefully UFC. Sunday is the famous SUPERBOWL! So my eyes will be glued to the tube to watch the pats demolish the eagles. Not that i care who wins its just an exuse to gamble and watch tv.

yeah he's sober!

Is any1 else excited that Food Tv has been free this whole week on channel 66. It's made my days a lot brighter. 30 minute meals and Emril..does live get better?

Oh i never mentioned my brother's status...he got a second opinion by a specialist in manhatten and appearntly his foot is healing fine. It amazes me how much we rely on doctors and how many times they are wrong. But we havent gotten a third opinion we have just decided to trust this guy. My bro was so excited that he didnt need another surgery that he bought tix for a week vacation in mexico. you cant make this stufff up folks.

Current Events: The Pope suffered what has been called "breathing spasims" and of course me being a catholic and more importantly a good human being..i wish the man to get get well soon. But he's got God on his side so i'm sure he'll be fine no matter what the outcome. But hypothetically speaking... what if the Pope goes into a comma for a lenghty period of time and things look bleak. Is a new Pope crowned to lead us worshiping catholics..and if sowhat happens if the Pope has a miraculous recovery? Will we then have 2 popes? Can u take away the title of Pope from someone? Maybe thier should be a holy war or a crusade between the Popes. ehh just a thought- pretend i never brought this up- id delete it but i've given it too much thought to not even mention it.

Quotables: "I saw Michael Jackson the other day, he looked stressed out so i told him to lighten up, then i realized if he lightens up anymore he'd be transparent... then we'd really have to protect the kids"