I'm A Failure

In the words of Dave Chapelle, "Good Evening Bitches."  I've been trying to start this 10 page paper since i got home from school but i only got as far as my name. In my own defense i have had a few distractions which have taken up huge gaps of time. I'm going to the computer lab tomorrow though to try and get  focused, i figure there should be nothing there to distract me, but we'll see.

I finally got an e-mail back from my Hofstra friend and lover (although she doesnt know that). She was away in Europe for about a month so thats why she didnt write back. It was good to hear from her and i hope the e-mails continue but  i remain pesamistic. I dont want the same mistake to happen as it did with tara so ill definately try my best to stay close.

The saf-t-swim softball game happend on sat and it was a lot of fun. Our team got our asses kicked but it was more about having a good time then actually winning.  We had a pretty good turnout, i figured it just be 5 people tossing the ball around but we had more than enough people. After the game- i got into a heated arguement with my parents about never bring home- which is complete and utter bullshit. I think I'm home too much. The thing is when i am home im always in the basement or in my room- cuz my dad tends to annoy me on purpose- and who needs that. I am a loner i guess- whatelse can i say.

I'm watching Pulp Fiction right now, GREAT Movie..and speaking of great TV- Rescue Me started up last night and i couldnt be happier. With that on tuesdays and entourage on sundays i now have 2 good shows to look fowards to. They compliment the other days where im watching wrestling or yankee baseball. In a related story... I need a g/f!! The sands of the hour glass are falling rapidly and i'm not getting any younger. My new years resolutuion was in part to find a g/f and i've had less success then the Kansas City Royals this year. The last woman i picked up was Mrs Butterworth when i had my eggo waffles. I dont want to complain and rant about it any longer but its been troubling me for a while and i need to get my ass in gear.

No luck yet on getting a job either- i've put in applications to big companies like Computer associates and of course Con-Ed but i didnt hear anything yet- we'll see what happens.

I've been going to the gym a lot lately to try and tone up my body..its still not looking pretty even after a year at the gym but i see minor improvements which keeps me holding out hope. I wanted to be going to the gym hardcore this summer and i invisioned huge results but again to no avail.  I'm just a complete and utter failure in every sense of the word.

Movie Picks: I didnt get to see Batman returns yet but i did see Mr & Mrs Smith (twice) and i thought it was pretty good. Angelina looks amazing as usual. The flim to see is definately Cinderella Man though- its another sad but good boxing movie. That seems to be the recipe for success. I also saw The longest yard- ehh it was good for what it was but not great. I heard the Perfect Man was a solid chick flick and how can it not be good with such star power as Hilary Duff and Heather Locklear? Movie of the year is still Sin City, followed by Cinderella Man.

Quotables: Earlier today, Michael Jackson's lawyer said that Michael will no longer share a bed with young boys. Which explains why this afternoon, Michael was spotted buying a large hammock

Reunited...& It Feels So Good

This weekend brought back quite a few memmories for me as i saw/spoke to people who i havent had much contact with in the last few years.

Back in the high school days i was friendly with pretty much everyone but my core group of friends remained my buddies through out college and right up until the present (with the exception of 1). I was fortunate enough to have almost all my friends stay local so i didnt have to worry about losing contact with them or even me making new friends. The only friend that moved away was the one that i was probably the closest with at the start of high school. Even senior year we'd go to school together and have a locker right next to each other. He went away to school and I visited him once in Boston, but for the most part we have lost a lot of contact. i really only get to see him like three times a year so whenever hes around i make it a point to see him atleast once (even if i dont feel up to it, or feel like seeing other people) b/c its kind of a big deal for me. So with that all being said, my boy Matt was home and i went over his house friday night. It was nice to see him- he hasnt changed much- the only thing is he was busy entertainging his guests and i didnt really get a chance to have a long chat with him..i did however manage to meet his g/f and let me tell u- shes as sweet as she is beautiful. i'm so happy for him. Shes very friendly and personable which was the opposite of what i was expecting from a girl from the dairy state aka Wisconsin. They are moving in together and probably the start of something great..i'm thinking of heading down to wisconsin myself cuz i havent had much luck here on the east coast.

On Sat. Bert, his older sister leigh and i headed to the nutty irishman for a few drinks. I'm not a club or bar guy really but i like to go somewhere sit down and just chill once and a while and thats what we did. We called up Simeione who is the same way as me and the 3 of us just chilled at a table and had a few drinks. Thats why i like playing poker- its not about winning money- its chillin with the follas.Oridinarily sat night would be card nite but recently the tradtion has stopped and i have found myself watching reruns of cheers on sat nights so when leigh asked me to go i said sure...then i got a call from scott saying that cards was on so i was in a bit of a tough spot but i didnt wanna brake the plans i set.

The real excitement came on sunday night though.. i was on the computer looking up information for my summer class aka pictures of hot chicks, when an old friend signed online. Her name is Tara and i used to work with her at K-mart. I probably mentined her a thousand times on here or if i didnt mention her by name i probably eluded to her. She was without a doubt the best thing that ever happend to me. When i was going out with jen- i would talk to her about things, when my life seemed to be in shambles- she was there to walk me through it. When i had no life- she'd tell me her wild stories and made me envious. She was a best friend and almost always put a smile on my face. But when i broke my wrist things took a turn for the worst as i knew they would. She used to say that we wouldnt lose contact but it was inevitable- she was busy with her life and i was at home recooping and once i finally got well enough to go visit her..things seemed to have changed- i felt like i missed so much and i kind of blamed myself for letting her go. I'm not talking romance here either which may sound strange but shes just one of those people that makes u feel better about urself whenever ur with her so her friendship is vital to me. Anyway i stoped in kmart some nites just to see if she was working and we'd have a little chat but once k-mart closed i knew my days were numbered. She shares a sn with some1 and everytime i'd Im her it wasnt tara- so i stopped Imign her. But last night i saw her sn and i decided to give it a try and when it was her i got so excited. It was like i found my long lost sister- cuz i really missed this girl so so much! We caught up on old times, shes having a baby (shes married..and 4 or 5 years older than me- i forgot to mention that earlier lol)! I felt so happy for her, but at the same time so happy for me- cuz hopefully i can get back a small piece of what i've been missing for years now. I even had a dream about it last night- so im pretty damn happy about it... now if i can only talk to my hofstra chick- i'd be set for life.

So that reunion set the tone for another reunion of sorts...ECW- 1 night stand, it was a PPV reunion of a now defunct wrestling orginaization and let me tell u- i miss that shit. High flying action, chair shots, flaming tables and dives from the blcony were all sights that could have been seen last night as well as a few shot interviews by wrestlers and comentators.. Overall it was phenomenal!

Whats not phenomenal is thatiwent to the beach yesterday and i got friggen toasted. My skin ir redder then the race of a drunkin irish man. My right foot is so burnt that when i stepped in the ocean steam rose up. i have put every type of lotion i have in this house on it and it still burns like a fire at the mirenda house.

but i gotta run- sorry this entry wasnt so exciting for u guys but for me it was very meaningful.

The old days

The summer of excitement has gotten off to a rather slow start but i dont want to call it a disappointment just yet, i still remain optimistic. I know i have set my hopes pretty high for the next few months, i have a nasty habbit of doing things like that, but we'll see how it goes...as for right now there hasnt been a lot to talk about, thats why u have been with out my endless wisdom for a little over week. I just have been so unmotivated to write. Sometimes i would start an entry but i lost interest almost immediately. So if ur reading this i obviously was able to get through an entry without gettin too disgusted with my self- existance.

Ok first things first... i know some people are way too interested in this topic but im going to attempt to be as brief as possible... the prom. Alittle background, i was asked to go to the prom by one of my best friends, thats right i said it.. Bert is one of my best friends, even though i see his backhand more then a tennis player and he says the most mind numbing shit- i stil think hes one of the best friends any1 could ever have...anyway..i was asked to go to this thing and i immediately said yes. Not b/c i desperately wanted to go, but she asked me for whatever reason, shes a pretty girl so im sure she could have gotten some1 else to go with...but she chose me so i accepted..and besides its not like my schedule is that busy with girls asking me out- so whatever i said yes.  I guess i prob should have tried to get out of it cuz i didnt know anyone and i do mean anyone there. I only knew my date and her friend and their is only so much that can be talked about. But whatever i accepted and i went. All in all the night was ok. I tried to be the best date possible, trying to stay smiling and i even danced A LOT....i havent danced since my senior variety show in high school and it wasnt pleasnt and believe me its still just as bad. I always said that i dont go to bars and dance because im white! White people dont dance at clubs- they own the club....Anyway i really hope she had a good time cuz prom is considered to be an everlasting memory, although when i steped foot in the country club i didnt remember seeing half the shit- its the after prom stuff that i still recall. But whatever i hoped she had a good time cuz i def tried to make it enjoyable.

The real story of that night was how old i felt. Now of course being around kids that watch spounge bob square pants is gonna make any non saturday morning cartoon watching college kid feel old, but it was more than that. My personality is the stay at home, watching girls softball on espn2 and lets the good times roll type of guy, im not "Mr. life of the party" by any means- (those days if i ever had them, are longggg gone). So i just felt old..not to mention none of the teachers recognized me and i was about the age of a lot of the new teachers which really freaked me out. Then i saw some pictures and thats when the real depression sunk in. I looked like Mr Clean with a god damn cocaine addiction, standing next to the fountain of youth trying to recapure his glory years. I'm sure i was the source of jokes cuz if i were a senior  i'd be making fun of me too. Anyway it really was an eye opening experience and i realize that i better start lookin at craft-matic adjustable beds cause those days dont appear to be that far off.

Yankees lost again. Its funny how when the mets win the yankees lose and visa verse. Its really becoming an obvious cycle so i guess the real key to the yankees isnt trading giambi or firing the coaching staff but rather beating the shit out of carlos beltran and mike piazza.

I'm still waiting for a grade from last semester. I swear to God this shit should be illegal. I thought all grades had to be in by like 4 days after the final but apparently thats not true. I asked my mkt teacher and he said that there really is no set time when the grades have to be in by. He suggested that we (as if i still maintian contact with my classmates) put pressure on him to post the grades...i dont wanna be that guy who keeps writting emails cuz he mite drop my grade- id rather get up on my soap box and bitch about it here and hope some1 else does my dirty work.

I havent gotten to the gym in almost a week. I plan on going to the gym tomorrow after class- just for abs but i may have to bang out some other body parts cuz ive been slacking so much.- ok this entry got really boring and im drawing blank on what else i wanted to talk about so i'll talk to u all whenever i get the motivation.