Well as promised the self help shit is out the window. I realize no1 wants to hear advice from someone who can’t even help himself. I’m not saying I’m a lost soul but I know I’m in no better position than any1 else. I’m offering career advice and yet I’m 1 small step up from the mail room and I’m giving relationship advice but I’m home alone more than Mulculy Culkin. It really doesn’t make sense- and I fucking know it. But in my own defense, so often I hear shit from people that just makes my head want to erupt. People give advice on things they know absolutely nothing about or they are “experts” but they give the textbook responses rather than looking at the given situation. To try and combat this- I offer my own words of wisdom. But, I’m trying not to, my “wisdom” is unproven and it’s built upon speculation. I just wish others would follow suit. If I ever get my shit together long enough to be successful then maybe I’ll conjure up some cute anecdotes about life and leadership and throw them in a book but until then it’s back to basics…ranting.
<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" />
Back in high school- I would have never envisioned myself being the way I am now. I’m not like John Mayer waiting on the world to change- I see life as always evolving. In fact, I think life has only 2 constants… time and change. My life has changed drastically in just a few short years, for better or for worse –whatever (that’s up to you). All I know is that I am battle tested. I’ve got the scars to prove it. I’ve been thinking a lot about the polar opposite mind frames and changes that have occurred in the last few years and here is kind of a sample…
I’ve lost patience, family members, friendships, and girl friends
I’ve gained self respect, weight, new relationships and maturity.
I’ve forgotten things I knew by heart and remember things I wish I could forget.
I used to hate to fight, but now I fight b/c I’m consumed by hate.
I usedto look forward to the weekends now I’m depressed by them.
The list really does go on and on. But I guess that’s typical. I think Muhammad Ali once said, “Show me a man that’s the same at 21 as he is at 41 and I’ll show you a man that’s wasted 20 years.” And it’s so god damn true. So when some1 tells me I’ve changed- I don’t take offense to it anymore- I embrace it... I look at it as a good thing.
Now with all that said- I see changes in other people as well. Maturity, respect, appearance, -all that shit. Some things I like and some I don’t- but that’s not for me to judge. But when personalities clash – that’s when the shit is most apparent…and that’s when voices get heard. Last night was 1 of those nights where 2 conflicting viewpoints butted heads. I heard whining and complaining I just kind of lost it. I’ m not proud of how I handled it (yelling and screaming) but I stand behind what I said- b/c it has been something that’s been building up.
I hate drama- I know people always say that shit, like it’s the cool thing to say- but I really fucking do. I hate it with a passion. And not just drama, I hate just about anything that will bring attention towards me- both good and bad. But especially drama, and worse- drama without facts. So when I feel I am getting attacked, or I’m part of a situation being questioned or labeled as shady- I take offense to it. Last time one of my friends was victim to it. but I didn’t say much b/c it didn’t involve me- when asked my opinion I gave it (and supported my friend) and that was it. But now I’m involved and I’ll speak in depth on this shit…b/c it is what it is.
