Inspiration

A year or so ago, I remember complaining about how I never had that 1 moment of clarity. In talking with 1 of my friends, he was able to recall a time in his life where everything clicked into place...Not me. I've had peaks of greatness and valleys of humility... but I've never had that 1 moment where everything just made sense...Today I still wait for that epiphany with bated breath, however I'm more hopeful today..than I was ever before.

On Friday of last week I was inspired by a woman who has done nothing but inspire me since I've met her. She's a consummate professional and model employee. The type of person I try and emulate, not only for her work ethic and behavior but for her morality and heart. Her name is Lucia and in terms of work, she's my everything. She's the 1 who recommended me for my current position and she's been my mentor ever since. She is sweet as sugar but at the same time she's all business...and I love that about her. In a Japanese company such as Canon, she positively represents the American worker in a way not often seen. She's smart, hard working and efficient- the triple threat of the business world.  On top of all that- she's a wonderful person. I could site numerous examples but I think its easier if you take my word for it..She's become a very close friend in a very short time.

...And friendship is not something I excel at. For those who call me "a friend", I  know it hasn't been easy. I usually don't return phone calls and I really don't initiate them either. I also maybe 1 of the few people who has lost more friends on "myspace" than he has gained - lol. I know I'm fucked up that way... its a combination of pride, respect, and social ineptness which has made me the person I am today. I make no apologies for it but i really do appreciate those who have stood by me and those who appreciate me in light of my flaws.

Anywayy.. I was inspired by Lucia. She told me a heart warming tale about her and her fiance that almost brought tears to my eyes. The moral of the story, was A+B= C. So in my case, what I'm lacking now (a girl friend, career direction, better social and carpentry skills) may all be resolved if I find the missing link...(maybe not the carpentry skills.) I used to get down on myself b/c my high school blue print is a lot different than what it is today.. metaphorically speaking, a lot of projects seem to have been delayed but as a result of lack of materials. Due to Lucia's help.. i don't carehow long it takes, as long as i reach the end result.

A Tale For The Ages..

If this seems familair..it is..

They say with age comes wisdom, well that might be true but I've also noticed that age also brings with it personality changes. For one, I am not as patient as I was say 5 or 6 years ago. My "old man" has a tendency to fly off the handle a little too often for my liking and he admittedly has lost his patience in his older years. So if I'm losing my patience now, I can't imagine myself in 20 years from now. My older brother never had any patience, so I really shutter to think what he'll be like. One thing is for certain, my kids are fucked!

On the other hand, I look at what pisses me off now and I wonder how i put up with it for so god damn long. I think i used to have the patience of saint and now I'm less forgiving and more into making people accountable for their actions.. For better or worse, thats how it is. For instance, my parents ask me to do shit and I just feel like I'm getting ass raped. Obviously I'm still living in their house (rent free) so I certainly should contribute and respect their rules..but I also tend to think that I should be allowed a little more libirties with my older status and full time occupation. I guess thats under their disgression but I'm becoming more cognant of it. It's also a matter of me not taking as much guff as I used to. At first I thought it was a phase..but the phase never ended..I no longer want to listen to 2 faced, double talk. Nore do I feel the need to entertain Stupidity, Immaturity, Gossip, Spite, and Nonsencical Bullshit .. thats low class high school shit. The only drama I want in my life are the ones in my DVD library. Everything else, "come what may" but I'm not going to constantly try and put out fires that are being started by the douche-bag next to me holding a blow torch and a gasoline can.  I just don't repect stuff like that.

And "respect" is something that has always been big with me...I guess its the Italian in me. The word "respect" in a lot of ways represents my reason for living. As you know, respect is gained and lost daily. I'm constantly trying to gain my own self respect by handling every situation with dignity and class. I hope that 1 day when people look back at me they will me view me in a similar manner, and by that,  respect me for what I stood for. But I feel like my self discipline seems to erode when I'm faced with a situation which I deem as rude, childish or blatently disrespectful. The situation seems to get the best of me and my mood is more volatile. I try and make the est of a bad situation, but my displeasure is obvious and visable to all.

All and all I know no-one is perfect.. and being the same age as alot of my friends, I see changes in them as well. I know I'm not alone in the process of self fulfillment. I guess for me, I'm just at an age where patience meets respect..