Every so often I get into a rut. I wake up with a frown and like a bad case of herpes I can't seem to shake it. I know i've written about it thousands of times before, but once again its back... I don't know how, why, and when it happens, its just a cycle that has continued from even my earliest of days.

I've given up trying to find answers, I just accept it as part of my dimented DNA. So in attempt to improve, i've been trying to surround myself with things that make me happy...food,  music, yankee baseball.... but so far-  balls. I've secluded myself from the rest of civilization in an attempt to de-funkify myself. I know being around a downer isn't fun so im doing my damn-dest to chipper up.

Anyway, on Friday my buddy from Canon sent over a goodbye email. I was really shocked by it. I hadn't seen him much since he transferred to another position about 1.5 years ago. He was a smart, self motivated employee. But above all us, he was a good friend. I'd look forward to christmas parties and other staff meetings in which I knew I could catch up with him. There was a time when I went to him for advice and he went above and beyond to help me out. So i'm gonna mis him... but thats also got me thinking about my current positoin and maybe its time for me to start making some changes. Finally take the GMATS, get back to school... get a new job... who knows..

One certain change is my home life. My brother will be getting out soon. and i say that like its a prison here, and at times it is, but for the most part it isnt too bad. Anyway, Frank is gettin married  in June and then he's peacing out. I think hes not going too far which is good news for me b/c I might need to somwehere to stay. Plus papa Cats is retiring sooner rather than later (also in June) so i have begun casually apartment shopping. It would kill me to get an apartment but I think i'd be happier with a change of scenery. It's another who knows.