Friday, May 30, 2008

Sucks and the Shitty

 I saw the "Sex and the City" preview last night and I would like to take the time to offer a fair and impartial review from the male perspecitve. If you do intend to see the movie you may not wish to read on as I will be providing some spoilers as I critique this 2 and a hour hour love saga and the entire cast of characters.
 
For those of you that don't know, the Sex and the City movie is based off of the HBO original series. Little known fact, the original name for the show was supposed to be "Celebrity Mole" obviously referring to the 2 huge growths on Kim Catrell and Sarah Jessica Parker's face, but ABC already had the rights to the name and so Sex and the City was born. The show is about a friendship between 4 middle to upper aged women and their lives in NYC.
 
I have to confess I used to watch the series when it first came on TV. A show with such a provacative name on a cable station that pumps out more hits than Springstien was enticing to me. But as I watched each week I was more and more disappointed. I gave up on the show within it's first season. However I would watch occassionally due to all the hype around it, just to see if i had made a mistake. I never quite understood the appeal though, so last night I watched the movie with the hopes of finally understanding... and after 2 and a half hours I can honestly say I now understand.... Women just do not know what comedy is.
 
In all fairness, the movie was not awful. It was easy to follow and you didnt need to watch every episode to get it....which is a good thing. If you liked the movie "baby mama".. you will most likely love this flick. It obviously caters towards women, but the humor (and I use the term loosely) is all focused around shoes, closet space and cheezy 1 liners. The funniest part revolved around the always funny poop in the pants scene. But as I mentioned its 2 and a half hours, so if you think the show was slow moving... dont watch the movie... every second feels like an eternity. On the flip side though, if you liked the show you should see it.. and then adopt a monkey... b/c your life sucks.
 
Sarah Jessica Parker / Carrie Bradshaw- "SJP has a face like a foot" was a line that I think originally stemmed from Family Guy and I couldnt help think that throughout the entire movie. Her charcater is supposed to be a style icon, but from the guy perspective, I don't really see it... your gonna need more than a stylish hat to dress up a face that looks like Seabiscuit. Gina said she was voted the 2nd ugliest woman in Hollywood, I'm guessing she falls only to Roseanne Barr. But anyway, in the movie her character grossly over reacts to her future husband's cold feet and the whole movie is about her picking up the pieces with the help of some good friends, and some hackneyed humor. Eventually she does get married and the story book is complete.
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Mr. Big" - As I think I made pretty clear, I don't find SJP to be pretty. But I dont think he is anything to look at either... so it's kind of a believable pairing. I like his character though and I think he would have had every right to not take her back. Of course that isnt the case b/c otherwise it wouldnt be a chick flick... it be believable.
 
Jennifer Hudson- has a body like Ernie Hudson.
 
Miranda- I think if i were to relate to any character on the show... it would be her. She is boring, methodical, hairy and lesbionic. She is also unforgiving, and has kind of a harsh attitude at times. Aside from the red hair she sounds like me, oddly enough I hate her though.
 
Kim Catrell / Samantha - I don't get this character at all. Most girls think that if a girl is with 2 guys in 1 year they are sluts.... but then why is this character so beloved? Not to mentuin she's got a deep voice that goes with her deep throught. Plus in the movie she is 50 years old (god only knows about real life). She should be shopping for a caufiin not a flower shaped diamond ring. Plus the break up at the end with her and her b/f was so unbelievable. Bad language and violence is enevitable with break ups over 2 years... anything less is bulder-dash.
 
Charolotte - The best of the worst. She is the only girl I could actually see being friends with. She is really sweet, why she is friends with the others is beyond me.
 
Overall the movie was lack luster. I felt it dragged at (all) times. I liked Jennifer Hudson's character but I am not sure how true to life that would be. I feel like they just added that character to try and reach another demographic. Like I said it wasn't the worst movie I saw- but I recommend Sarah Marshall or Iron Man over this one.. but I am a guy... what do I know.

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