Comment Bored

Have you ever been in a situation that pissed you off so fucking much that you can't even fathom it. You get so fucking angry you have to control yourself with every remaining ounce of strength. You wanna yell, you wanna scream, you wanna break some skulls. You pace up and down and watch tv but you're really not watching tv at all. To divert attention you actually laugh as an emotional escape to hide the frustrations. No? Nobody can relate? Well it doesn't happen often but to me, it happens. In fact that is my current mind frame as i'm writing this. I can't even explain it or justify my anger b/c i know it will be shrugged off and filed under the category of "no big deal" but to me it is. I know i tend to be a little over sensitive and i realize that this may be a prime example but at the same time i do feel somewhat disrespected and for that no excuse will do. I don't even think its worth bringing up b/c like Mary J blidge- I don't want no more drama in my life.

So lets switch gears like Lance Armstrong.

Let me put you in another scenario, hopefully this one will ring a bell.... Have you ever said or muttered the phrase "i don't care what people think of me"...yeah u know u have. Everyone says it but the fact is- EVERYONE CARES. You might not respect the person enough to validate his or her opinion but you still wanna know how you're perceived. I know I've said that i don't care what people think- i seem to live by that attitude but its not true. In the past few weeks I've heard 2 comments that really took me off guard and made me scratch my head like a circus chimp. They aren't mean spirited or meant to cause me anger..just comments said in passing that i didn't expect...The first comment came from someone at my old stomping grounds, s-t-s. She's relatively new there but i worked with her on a couple of occasions and have seen her a bunch of times. So she has  developed a perception of me...With that being said she's also14 years old. Fourteen year olds aren't usually looked upon for their wisdom but in any case- she made a comment....and as everyone knows, getting insulted is never easy to take but for some reason it tends to sting a little bit more when your getting dissed on by someone who isn't old enough to ride the bumper cars. This fourteen year girl said to me "Oh you'll never get married." What balls, right??? lol Definitely not theworst thing that's been said to me but it still stung. I guess it stung b/c i feel their is some truth in it. It wouldn't have hurt if i didn't find it a credible criticism. I know have issues... some minor, some major and i need to overcome them or I'll find myself- just like i am right now...cranky and alone.

The next comment was certainly a welcomed one..it was said by in essence, a complete and utter stranger. Side bar: I don't know if you guys noticed this but quotes from random people seem to be more effecting than things said by people u know. Like when a family member compliments u- its like whatever- their family... but when a stranger says "nice shirt" your face lights up with excitement...you go home and wash it immediately and can't wait to wear it again....Anyway back to the quote, if i may indulge myself ... "He (me) is so good looking"...Now i could be mistaken- but if that was truly said to me- it not only made my day but  also the bulk of my work week. I was walking around town whistling and shit. Actually laughing about it. I mean, really???? I've been called a lot of things by a lot of people- but good looking isn't ringing many bells. Good looking? yeah perhaps compared to a burn victim. People are strange. But whatever, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder...and she might have a glass eye-( i don't really know).It  was an uplifting comment though and i felt i should share it with you- hopefully u get as much humor out of it as i did.

I'm really bored but i'm not in the mood to continue so i'm gonna stop it right here.