Fucked up

It's ass crack of dawn early here on Saturday and i have no idea why im not snoring like a grizzly bear but for whatever reason i just can't sleep...I basically got home  3 hrs ago from Jay's show in the city. . I wanna tell you everything that happend last nite but there is a slight problem...i dont remember all of it...im lucky if i remember half of it. The nite is kinda pieced together in my mind like an unsolved murder case. As you can probably guess i drank last nite...and boy did i ever. I drank with the intent of getting fucked up and well, i fucked up. I dont ever drink with this mindset- its just my heads been up and down like space mountain lately so i felt it was missi to wash everything away and start fresh..i'll explain that in a little bit. But for all those that care, I no longer hold the label of "a man with no tolerance or limit"...i was making out with a toilet and throwing up out the window of a taxi...(we'll get to that too).... and i dont want to sound like im bragging about that b/c quite frankly its nothing to be proud of. If anything im embarrassed/ashamed i let myself get like that and you know what... if it was just with friends i probably wouldnt care too much b/c i have seen the majority of them wasted....but it was also in the company of some1 i actually care how she views me..Nikki and thats what really suxxx.

I mite still be a little drunk as i'm writing this so bare with me here- (im sippin on a poland spring bottle like a baby on a rubber nipple). but let me preface this story with my feelings on getting drunk....i hate it. I hate people who feel like they have to get annihilated to go out and have a good time. I mentioned a few blogs ago that i saw my brother at the Nutty Irishmen 1 nite and hes 1 of those people that i hate. He got completely shit faced..so much to the point it was embarrassing for me to watch. I was with Sim at the time and i was just so pissed. mike thinks i hate my brother when thats not the case at all- i love him  but  i feel like he constantly makes the wrond decision. Hes one of the people that feels like he has to be the cool 1 and has to impress people but 1 by 1 his "cool decision" have led him on a downward spiral and im concerned. I guess im kinda vee here so i'll end that sub story...  but just know i really hate people who drink too much- like i wanna punch them in the face and thenkick em while they are down. I swore i'd never get like that but i guess now im just a hypocrite cuz i did. 

Here's the short version of the story....So the plans were set (although i wasnt looking forward to going). We were to meet Nikki (the only thing i was lookin forward to) and her friend Raych in the city and then proceed to go to Jay's show. Both my parents were out for the nite- my mom was sleeping over my Aunt's house (they do that from time to time now with the passing of my uncle) and my dad was working late. With the house pretty much to myself and what promised to be a long nite a head of me.. i decided to take a drink of grey goose- just to loosen me up... as i mentioned nikki was coming out tonite and i have a habbit of kind of clamin up around her so i wanted to get a little buzzed just so i could be a little more fun, things have gotten off to a rocky start and thats been concerning me..i just wanted to show her that im a fun guy...cuz i think i am a fun person..i just need a little help sometimes. So with that said i prob drank about half a glass- nothing outrageous...and then bert picked me up and we went to get wildes. I gotta fast forward this story a little bit otherwise i'll be here till noon..but we had several drinks even before we got in the city and then more as we hit up penn station...i was doing shots on the train/ shots at fridays, shots at the bar, also sprinkle in some beers. but anyway back to the meat and potatoes of the story...I GOT FUCKED UP. I dunno when and how it hit me but metaphorically speaking....i was done before i got started. I remember Jay on stage and i remember cheerin but i dont think i managed to see the end of his set because i was too busy in the fedal position  spooning the toilet.  Before that i remember sitting down and just relaxin for a second- Tom came over to me and asked if i was ok- from there i just remember being in the bathroom and somehow nikk,  raych and wildes came in there after me. A huge "thank you/wish they didnt see me like that" goes out to that trio. They didnt leave my side... they got me some water and coached me through it...if i had hair im sure theyd be holdin it back...and the whole time i was sweating like an animal... it was a bad scene- truthfully i would have rather been slaughtered by an army of pissed off midgets. i dont know where that came from- i just wanted to think of something embarrassing and all i got wasan army full of midgets...what the hell is wrong with me? The thing is i know i was out of my mind drunk but im guessing i looked 10 times worse and thats not a comforting thought.

So whatever we finally made our way out of the bar- nikk and bert took me in a cab...wildes and raych got there own..and nikk and bert both took really good care of me b/c i was feeling like shit up until i throw upppp...3 times out the taxi window. Fuckin Bert, the guy mite beat the shit outof me on a constant basis but i cant explain to u how good of a friend he is.  They guy literally took the shirt off his back and whiped up the vomit off the taxi. So the rest of the nite he was cold and uncomfortable but he fuckin never complained. Sidebar...After i threw up i did feel better and  i got better and better as the nite wore on... it just sux that my nite had consisted of them babysititng me. I've been in that position before and i know its def not fun and certainly not a good way to kick off a relationship.

What is it about the city that makes people lose control??? I guess i shouldnt place the blame on the location as much as i should the person but some1 once told me every crazy nite starts in the city and its kinda true.... All and all it was a nite to forget, although im sure i wont for a long long long time....