Pathetic Weekly

I've been debating about what to write about. Do I elaborate on my past 2 entries and go deeper into my emotions or do i go back to the old style, a style in which i'm much more comfortable with. The choice is rather obvious i suppose. I hate to leave you guys hangin, but to be honest- i just dont want to think about things anymore. I have had more deep thoughts than Jack Handy lately and i'll give u a little insight..it didnt help. Like i said before, i dont have any bad feelings toward anyone other than myself.

It would've been a Meg Ryan marathon weekend, but instead of letting my mangina get the best of me, i'm gonna man up. I'm heading down to Atlantic city tomorrow to throw my money away. It's probably not the best choice for a weekend get away but i don't care, it's certainly better than staying home and listening to a mix tape. Dr Nyer perscribed this for me and it's doctor's orders.

Speaking of doctors....I woke up a week ago glowing and not in a good way. I was literally glowing- like rudolph. My nose had grown several inches and was redder than the ass cheeks of naughty little boy....A familiar problem as God likes to slip me the finger every so often....And  after trying several different remedies to no avail...I went to my local indian pharmisist and he's said (in broken english) that it's not a pimple but rather "a severe skin irritation". He said that its possible i got it from wearing a mask on halloween, i dont think so, but who knows..my snout hasn't been the same since bert's party. But anyway- this med school graduate tells me the best thing for it is let it breathe. no cream, no cover up lotion- nothing, just further humiliation for another week or so.

I know i dont have to tell you all how pathetic i am.. you guys already know it. I wrote the book on the subject, in fact ur actually subscibers to "Pathetic Weekly". Let's be honest- these journals are toungue and cheek but any1 can write them. The reason why no1 does is b/c they have lives...perhaps not the most exciting lives, but lives none the less. I dont have that luxury. I sit on the computer and write blurbs- thats my life and when im not writting them im thinking about what to write...pathetic.  But anyway, i'm going to give u another example of pathetic just incase u were unclear on the definition..(this is for no other reason than to motivate me to eaither change my life or end it)...Pathetic is driving home in bumber to bumber traffic and sweating like an animal. Then rolling down the windows to get some air...then forgetting the windows are rolled down and bursting out singing a song by O-town (which is on a mix tape that u had made for some1 that u dont even tlak to anymore). Yeah..thats pathetic..whats worse is i realized the windows were open in mid song and i kept going cuz i was too into the song to stop. Luckily it was an older lady in the car next to me who didnt seem fazed...i eventually put on some ruff ryders and dmx to try and instill some dignity in myself but i wasnt fooling any1.

At canon, things are status-quo. I found a fun hobby though, somethign to do during my lunch break.  I go outside and sit in my car and eat my lunch and watch as  chinese man comes out and smokes a cigarette. and thats it. It's so much fun for me!! He alwasy looks like he's repulsed by every puff, but its just his chinese face. With that being said i guess its no shocker that i don't have any friends yet, but its kinda hard to approach people when u know u have a red laser beem on the end of ur nose..but i do say hello and goodbye to people so i think eventaully i may have a converstaion with them. Again i know its sad but thats the way i opperate...like in school i'd sit in the back of the classroom and not say shit for months. I went semesters without saying a word. I'm a phantom. I'd maybe say hello and goodbye to some people and always laugh if some1 said something funny but i'd never start a converstation with any1...however if some1 broke a pencil or needed a calculater or something- i was johnny on the spot. My whole college interaction revolved around pens running out of ink. But then again who doesnt love "pencil boy." The day of a big test ur pencil breaks- you love to see this face. Nobody called me pencil boy, but thats who i was, that was my in. It was only when i got paired with people via the teachers request did i have full converstations with my peers, but as a result i met some really cool kids. I think its a self esteem issue but i'll save that for when im on the couch in a few years.

Aight thats it for now i gotta get my rest for tomorrow...