Welcome to the Suck

"Welcome to the suck". Those of you who saw the movie jarhead probably recognize that quote, but for me it holds a very special meaning. Those words speak volumes. That little montra will be printed on my "welcome mat" as kind of a warning to all those who dont know the hell that lies behinds that door. It could also be the title of my autobiography or the soundtrack to my life. Obviously i'm not serious, but i sometimes feel the need to explain that.  I've noticed these little editorials are getting more and more depressing and i dont want people thinking that i'm like 1 spam email away from going over the edge...i'm sane- i swear. If u know me you realize that i'm the happiest s.ob. this side of the looney bin. I just seem to focus on the stuff that bothers me as sort of an emotional release. Don't judge me...we all have our quirks. Anyway lets try and stay positive today- onto bigger and beeter things.  

And what's bigger and better than Atlantic City? If you said Vegas or Cancun ur probably right but -ur ruining my point..i'm going back to Jersey, the sunshine state- (some1 double check that for me)! I know i was just there 2 weeks ago but what can i say? The Donald is calling my name, so I'm loading up the pockets with all the loose change i can find and im heading back there Saturday. Again, i kid, i keeed. Im not going because i'm a degenerate gambler although that doesn't help.... The big reason is b/c it's Gina's birthday (and Brad's too- his was Weds).  So hopefully mike comes too otherwise...i'l be third wheelin' it all the way to AC with Brad and Gina. It's not like i haven't done that before though...whatever I'm looking forward to it.  

I haven't told my parents i'm going to AC yet though. My communication with my parents is very limited...it's sad but it's really the only thing that keeps me from rockin a straight jacket. For some reason telling my parents things is like planning a war. I have to be very methodical with how and when i drop the bomb. I'm not one of those people who can't wait to move out- i like my house and i like not paying for things..i'm not stupid. Now is the time to prepare for the future- not start it. And don't get it twisted either- i do help out when i can. I go food shopping and do some shizzle around the house. But what i hate is that everytime i step footin the house after a rather long day of work and traffic (i know its not too bad of a commute..but their is traffic) my dad is right there asking annoying questions about my day. I need some time to unwind, atleast a second. I need privacy- i need some friggen oxygen. Not only that, but i dont like talking about how my day at work went...For me its another day another dollar. You think he'd understand that- but he doesn't and he gets PISSED...It's like when your parents used to ask you how ur day at school went..you always said "fine" and that was it...actually i always said that and assumed it was like that in every family...that is every family not named Mirenda lol. But i never said, "oh school was great, i learned this, this and this..." Thats not my steez- and it never will be. You're lucky if u get more than 2 words out of me on a subjected im excited about... but my family doesnt see that. They ask me to talk for hours like Larry King or something.  

 I'm really pissed off at myself (i know i said i wasnt going down this route but consider this a slight detour). I wanted to go to Chili's yesterday to see my old boss Michelle. She hasnt been out with the old S-t-s crew since she became pregnant. So it was kind of a big deal. But like an asshole i went to lay down for a bit  before getting ready and before u know it, i was out like a fuckin light. I slept right through phone calls and everything. I woke up this morning so pissed off. I went in the bathroom and staired at myself with hate in my eyes. I know its not the end of the world, and i'm sure she wasn't upset at me but i would have wanted to be there- atleast for an hour or so just to say hi and tell her that i miss workin with her. I'm still kinda pissed actually (its 12:33 pm- im writing this during my lunch break cuz i dont know if i'll have time to write 1 later tonite).

   Last weekend i got a Case of the Ex. To be totally honest...i'm not really sure what that means, i just know i heard it in a song or somewhere. Let me explain what i want it to mean... Last weekend I went to go pick up some pictures from my local convenient store, CVS. For years i avoided CVS like it was a shark filled ocean. Even though its like not even 3 minutes away, and couldnt be more convenient....i always feared of getting caught in an awkward confrontation/conversation.But now I likegoing to CVS..pretty much everyone from high school has moved on so it's safe to go back in the waters..Now adays the only one i see from time to time is Mike Levy and he's good people. He keeps the convos quick and painless, plus hes looking to leave too. So anyway, there i was picking up some pictures when all of a sudden i see my ex girlfriend's best friend (i had not counted on seeing her). She also works their but in the pharmacy section. So i said hello and we had a 5 minute chat...not bad..she seemed excited to see me but i'll never understand why....so if that wasn't excitement enough. I then went food shopping and i bumped into my ex's little sister and grandma. Oh and by the way- i couldnt have looked more unpresentable if i took an axe to my face. I had a  thick beard and was wearing crusty clothes...i looked like a homeless chuck norris. but in my own defense, its the weekend- i dont go style, i go comfy. It's what i do...They were probably like- "oh wow, mike looks like he's gone to hell since he broke up with Jen"...but whateves...let them think that...the fact is i was in hell way before i broke up with her. But anyway back to the story-These convos were of course, then followed up by a phone call with Jen where we caught up a little bit....I was reminded of the past, both- the good and the bad times...we then spoke again the next day online briefly. Its not a reunion, just more of touching base. I dont see things ever being the way they were between us- we've reached the point of no return. But their is no ill will there. Atleast not on my side- u never no with chix...and that basically concludes the Case of the ex.

Let me end this journal with a brief commentary on Eddie Guererro. For those of you who don't know him- he was a wrestler that died earlier this week due to heart failure. I obviously didnt know him personally but like with every wrestler that enters the WWE, i let them into my home every week- so i kinda feel like i know them a little bit. Like i said I used to watch him every week on TV..i followed his career for years..I saw him rise from a mid carder to a main event caliber wrestler...his transformation was joy to watch but now i unfortunately dont have that luxury. I'll be the first to admit i though, I wasn't the biggest Eddie Guererro fan but their was no denying his abilities in the ring and on the mic. He had a love for wrestling that was obvious to anyone who watched him. He gave the crowd a show and was always entertaing. I have a great deal of respect and admiration for him and even though his death was proably due too his own ignorance- via drugs, alcohol, and/or steriods- its still a tragedy. Viva La Razzza.